Ever feel like your relationship is all sunshine and laughter one minute, then fights and frustration the next? It happens to everyone! The good news is there are ways to make those happy times last longer.

The key to long-term relationship happiness lies in increasing the times of sunshine and laughter, fostering a sense of security and connection. This article focuses on the three pillars of the RDAS (Revised Dyadic Adjustment Scale): Consensus, Satisfaction, and Cohesion, offering small yet impactful steps to create a more fulfilling relationship.

Part 1: Find Common Ground: Consensus

Consensus, the first pillar, focuses on your ability to find common ground in two crucial areas: decision-making and shared values.

Make Decisions as a Team

Instead of fighting about who gets to pick the movie, you and your partner can work together to decide. Talk about what kind of mood you're both in and see if you can find something you both enjoy. Same goes for bigger things, like where to go on vacation. Discuss decisions openly, understanding each other's perspectives. Role-playing helps – try assigning yourselves opposite positions in a hypothetical situation and work together to find a middle ground.

Nurture Affection and Intimacy

Another way to have more fun is to show you care about your partner. A quick hug, a funny meme you saw online, or even just helping with chores – these little things add up to big happy feelings. Don't forget to set aside some special time for just the two of you, like a movie night or a walk in the park, shared hobbies, and nurture physical intimacy.

Align Your Values

Shared values act as a compass for your relationship. Discuss what's truly important to each of you: family, religion, finances, life goals. Don't expect complete alignment, but identify core values you can both support. Open communication and a willingness to understand each other's perspectives are crucial.

Part 2: Build Trust and Security: The Foundation for Lasting Happiness

The second pillar, Satisfaction, is about your overall happiness and stability within the relationship. This includes feeling secure and having a sense of peace within your bond. It also encompasses the inevitable conflicts that arise.

Nurture a Sense of Stability

Feeling safe and happy with your partner is like having a comfy blanket – it makes everything better! You can build this feeling by doing things you both like to do together, even if it's just watching silly videos online. Celebrate special moments, big or small, and tell your partner how much you appreciate them for everything they do. Make each other feel safe and supported by being reliable and dependable.

Manage Conflicts Effectively

Everyone argues sometimes, that's normal. The key is to work things out without yelling or name-calling. Listen to what your partner is saying and try to see things from their side. If things get too heated, take a break and come back to the conversation later when you've both calmed down.

Build Resilience Together

Life can be tough sometimes, but you and your partner can face anything together. If something bad happens, be there for each other and offer support. Remember all the good times you've had together, and know that you're a team that can handle anything.

Part 3: Strengthen Your Bond: Shared Activities and Open Communication

Cohesion, the third pillar, focuses on the activities you share and the openness of your communication.

Share Activities

Doing things together is a great way to have more fun and feel closer to your partner. It can be anything you both enjoy, like playing games, trying a new recipe, or going for a walk. Even just doing chores together can be a fun way to spend time if you put on some music and make a game of it.

Deepen Conversations

Talking to each other is super important too. Don't just chat about what's for dinner – tell your partner about your day, your dreams, and even your silly worries. Listen carefully to what they have to say and try to understand how they're feeling. The more you talk openly, the closer you'll feel to your partner.

The Journey to Happiness: The Small Steps That Create Big Impact

Being happy with your partner takes a little work every day, not just big fancy things. By working together on the ideas we discussed in this article, you can take small steps that lead to a lot more fun and happiness together. It's like building a sandcastle – you add one piece at a time, and before you know it, you have something awesome that you made together!

Article Authored By

Mohanjeet Singh

Mohanjeet is a coach, counsellor and consultant with experience spanning over two decades.

He is the founder of Psychology Learners - an initiative to improve mental health awareness in society and help mental health practitioners with guidance and resources.