Supporting My Teen Sail Through the Turbulent Years: Understanding, Empowering, and Building a Bond By Sheetal Khanna

Supporting My Teen Sail Through the Turbulent Years: Understanding, Empowering, and Building Bond

Do I know my teen? What has happened? What went wrong? 

Let us understand what is going on. 

Remember Your teenage days?Remember all the confusion?

Teen or adolescence or Teenager is a transitional phase of the development between childhood and adulthood. It is a crucial period in a human being’s life where both physical and mental functions are developed at a rapid scale. This phase of life brings physical and emotional changes which in turn change their thoughts, behaviour, and their actions. As they pass through this transformation, it becomes more important to understand the processes that shape their thoughts and behaviour.

Let’s start a journey to know my Teen:

Understanding my Teen

Parents always wonder ‘Do I know my teen? What has happened? What did go wrong?
Let us understand what is going on. Remember Your teenage days! Remember all the confusion. Try to remember the different voices in your head. Yes! You do remember. Oh! How is he/she looking? Wait and don’t do anything that can cause harm. Be good in front of the guests. Remember! 

Let us understand the changes happening in teenagers:

Cognitive Development     

Teens undergo significant cognitive development which in turn develops their reasoning skills and they start questioning the very existence of various life processes. They are in a thinking, and exploring stage. They think about their body image, studies, exams, opposite sex, peers, career, mortality, etc. and the list is endless. Critical thinking, decision-making, reasoning, and improved impulse control are developed in their brain regions.

Physical Development

Teens go through many physical changes. All these changes are new for them. They wonder why these changes are happening to them and whether they are normal. They feel awkward related to the changes in their physical appearance.

My Rebellious Teen

All teens go through similar phases. Even though it can be present differently in children of all ages, rebellious behaviour has few common root causes. It is important to understand the underlying cause of our teens getting rebellious and manage those causes to keep a healthy relationship with them.

Some insights below for the underlying causes of rebellious teenagers 

  • Self-identity issues
  • Expectations from parents or society. 
  • Peer influence
  • Access to technology
  • Drug addiction
  • Porn addiction
  • Mobile addiction
As parents, we want to control everything but the rebellious teen does not need to be controlled. With the right attitude and support for your teen, these issues can be handled.

Let us understand how to effectively build a bond with my teen.

Building a Strong Parent-Teen Bond

The parents should build a level of trust with their teens so that they can look forward to them for their opinions and suggestions and get their acts together. 

To build a strong bond the first step is to effectively communicate with your teen.

Effective Communication with My Teen

Effective Communication is the process of exchanging ideas, thoughts, and opinions so that the message is received with clarity and purpose. There must be empathy and respect for the listener to get the message across. It is very important for maintaining healthy relationships and healthy self-expression.

Some of the pointers to communicate effectively to create a bond with your teen. 

  • Listen to them patiently
  • Do not be judgemental. 
  • Ask open-ended questions, deep dive, and let them share their thoughts.
  • Seek their opinions, views, and perspectives and acknowledge them. 
  • Share your viewpoint and connect with them on common ground.
  • Make yourself approachable.
  • Prioritise the tasks where they need your suggestions and opinions. This is as important as any other task. A lexical attitude will set wrong precedents here. 
  • Help them navigate their feelings. Give them space and freedom and help them grow into a wonderful human being.
  • Spend some fun time together. 
  • Share your worries and let them share their worries with you. 
  • Motivate them.
  • Validate their opinions and feelings.
  • Be respectful when you talk to them. 
  • Accept whenever you are wrong.
A good hug slows down the heart rate and decreases the level of stress hormones. It makes them feel calm, safe, and relaxed. It’s a good point to start the communication.

Empowering My Teen

Empowerment is about a degree of autonomy and self-determination. When you are empowering your teens, you are giving them the power and control over their lives. You are motivating them to accomplish their goals and objectives by taking required initiatives, making decisions for themselves, and solving complex problems with very little or no support from outside.

You can empower your teens by:

  • Ask them to make plans for anything and everything. 
  • Brainstorm the ideas with them. 
  • Be with them during all stages of planning. 
  • Help them share their apprehensions. 
  • Be there when they need your support. 
  • Validate their perspective: 
  • Give them full attention and summarise what they have told you. 
  • Normalize their feeling and share similar experiences of your own. 
  • Ask them what went wrong and what could have been done differently to bring the intended results.
  • Encourage them to trust themselves.
  • Remind them to embrace their regrets and learn from their past mistakes. What matters the most is they have owned up to their mistakes, paid for the damages, and become more careful in the future.
  • Help them understand who is their friend and who is not.
  • Talk to them about their peers and help them to understand friendship rather than giving in to pressure.
  • Talk to them about bullying.
  • Talk to them about setting boundaries and rules.
  • Encourage them to be independent.

Seeking Professional Help for My Teen

Professional help is needed when the child gets involved in stealing, drug addiction, mobile phone usage addiction, failing in exams at school, illegal activities, running away from home, behavioural issues, emotional issues, etc.

The time to seek help will depend on you and your time spent with your teen.

As you feel that something is wrong with your teen and the assurance you get by confirming with your teen, it’s time to seek professional advice.

To know more about symptoms, please click on the link below:

Tele MANAS is a comprehensive mental health care service. It is the National Tele and Mental Programme of the government of India.


Toll-Free Numbers: 14416 and 18008914416

Mini Saxena

Article Authored By

Sheetal Khanna

Sheetal Khanna has more than two decades of experience in the Education Industry.

She has served in the capacities of Headmistress, Teacher Trainer, Academic Head, School books Curriculum Writer, Editor, Mathematics Teacher and an E-Learning Specialist. 

Disclaimer: This article has been written by a guest author as part of a mental wellbeing awareness campaign. You are advised to properly verify any advice given with qualified practitioners before following it. Also, for that reason it may not meet our usual standards. PsychoTech Services, Psychology Learners or any of its partner organisations, members or employees cannot be held liable for any damage or loss caused due to following the advice and recommendations given herein.

Join the discussion!
MJ Singh image
MJ Singh said…
Great that you added the helpline link and number!
March 26, 2024 at 11:51 PM
Surojit image
Surojit said…
Actually helping the teen navigate the difficult and turbulent internal emotions is what is needed. Good that this article talks about it openly.
March 30, 2024 at 10:22 AM
This article covers the actual problem related to teenagers and giving remedies how to come out from this. Writer has covered almost all the points which teenagers are facing. Really this article is very useful for Parents to understand their teenager's thought process and guide the parents how to behave with Teenagers

Thanks for writing such effective and useful article
April 1, 2024 at 11:43 AM
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